jaywalker

Discernment

2010-07-21T22:18:00.000-07:00

Right now I am in what many candidates in the PCUSA think of as the in between. Basically this is the time between when you're ready to receive a call and when you are called to a position. In non-seminarian circles it's when you really want a job but don't have one yet.

Luckily I have some really great friends who have come before me and set the stage, figuring out what works, what doesn't work, and reminding me that sometimes churches just don't call back.

This time could be really tough for me, and I'd be lying through my teeth if I didn't say that at some points, it's more than I would like to handle. But then I do something that luckily I am good at: I sit back and realize that things are not quite so bad as they seem when I get sucked into the bleakness. I have a job where I am fulfilled and doing work that is not simply to set me up for the future, it is what I feel called to do.

Sometimes I realize that I have a little extra time to catch up on my tivo'd shows. So what? The times when I have more time free than I would like, I sit back and realize that other than my YAV year, I went to school non-stop for twenty years. TWENTY YEARS. Of school. How does a person do that? Honestly, thank you God for a break.

I know that somewhere there is a campus ministry or a church that is just waiting to find me, and me them. Until then, I will watch Friends re-runs and catch up on Weeds, anxiously await Dexter, and watch any old movie involving a Texas small town; then, I will explore said town. I will mountain bike at Sansom Park, and listen to music in Sundance Square. I will marvel at the White Elephant Saloon, and ride on the back of a KTM 990. I will adore time with Jake, and continue to cultivate new friendships while cherishing the people already in my life. I will try my darndest to visit my best friend and my sister, two of the most important people in my life, and the two hardest to live far away from. I will watch from afar as my two best friends raise their kids, but be thankful for the fact that it's 2010 and I can watch through cyber space.

In the midst of all this craziness of wanting an ordained position and feeling stuck, I find comfort. The comfort comes in all of the above, and in all the unknown. I've always had a weird fondness for the unknown, and a weird optimism for what is to come.

If what is yet to come is as amazing as what is now, I can wait. After all, is waiting for me.

Thoughts

2010-05-09T22:35:00.000-07:00

Last night I woke up in the middle of the night to realize I was smack dab in the middle of a nightmare. I'm not going to go into detail about the dream, but basically something tragic happened to my brother in law, then something happened to his sister. The two were isolated incidents, so at least one didn't cause the other. These made me think pretty hard about what was going on. A few things that I realized is that not only am I going to be able to see them both next weekend at a wedding, but it reinforced how important they were in my life. With Jake out of town and my family not living close, it was as though my psyche was trying to tell me that I miss them, and I love them. My brother in law and his family have been a part of my life for more than half my life, so they are family. When I miss my family, I think of him, not just my sister. When the tragedy of the dream struck, it was as though the wind had been knocked out of me and I couldn't breathe because I was so scared of a life without them. Whether or not that means anything in waking hours, it did make me sit up in bed and think about their importance in my life. It's one of those things that I always know, but I don't take the time to think about, and apparently today it was necessary.

2009-07-08T13:34:00.001-07:00

We graduated!

Thanks(giving)

2008-11-22T19:59:00.000-08:00

Today LPTS Connects (the new volunteer group on campus that we're trying to get going) took a day to help build a Habitat house here in Louisville. Habitat builds (and other things like it) always pull out the best in people. It pulls out the community aspect that we don't normally experience when we sit and study next to each other. Today we were asked to present ourselves at 8:30 in the morning, in 21 degree weather, to measure, cut, climb, and hammer things to a house that we may never enter again. There are so many beautiful things about experiences like this. The woman whose house we worked on this morning is apparently at the house every single day. Every Habitat family is required to put in 400 hours of sweat equity (whether on their own house or someone elses) by the time their house is completed. Well, this particular woman? Before her house had broken ground she had already put in 600 hours. SIX HUNDRED! How amazing is that? This is someone with a full time job and four children, hoping soon to be in her own house. This family is dedicated not only to each other but to their community.

The popular question to third year seminarians is what is next? What are you going to do next year? Well, at this point in time I have no idea. I mean, I know the things that I want to do (love, do service, travel, speak spanish, etc.) then I do something like Habitat and realize that this is exactly what I want to do for the rest of my life...more on this laterrr. Check back in, oh, August to see what the next steps in this awesome adventure are. :)

I am a Christian. I am a Democrat. I voted for Barack Obama.

2008-11-03T18:05:00.000-08:00

Recently I got an email from someone I went to high school with. This particular email was a forward giving a laundry list of reasons why everyone who received this email should not vote for Barack Obama. It also said that many of the voters for Obama don't even know what he stands for. So of course it followed with all the things that Barack "stands" for.

I emailed this person, telling them of my support of Barack, and the fact that I knew exactly why I was voting for him and not for the McCain ticket. She emailed me back in shock that I was an Obama supporter. Her exact words were, when she read that I was an Obama supporter: "you've got to be kidding". She had one reason and one reason only for not voting for Obama: he's pro-choice.

Now, I love her. I miss her. We played ball together for a long time and I would give anything to do that. However, it showed me a lot of things, and got me re-fired up about a lot more.

Do people who are pro-life think about what happens to the mother? What happens if a woman is the victim of a rape? Also, call me crazy if you will, but the U.S. changing the language to "unborn baby" is loaded. There are so many things that go into this discussion, though, I'll save it..

Another oxy-moron is many (I refuse to say most, or all, because let's be honest, I don't know) pro-lifers are also pro-death penalty. Why would any of us think that we have the right to kill someone? God did not come to me one day giving me the permission to put someone to death.

I have a hard time with all this. I also have a really tough time with people who know you're a Christian but don't know much else being surprised when I vote democrat.

Gasp, I believe in universal health care (being done right).
Gasp, I believe that every woman has a right to choose. I believe that every woman knows her body better than anyone else and the last thing she needs is someone else, let alone the government she pays taxes to, telling her what to do with it.
Gasp, I believe in supporting those who are fighting for our country, but I do NOT believe in the fight.
Gasp, I am a pacifist.
Gasp, I am a follower of Jesus, who taught me how I should try to live my life as he did. Who spoke to lepers, prostitutes, and outcasts. No surprise, I fail, but will continue to try.
Gasp, I support (and encourage) interfaith dialogue and mutual understanding.
Gasp, I support "the most liberal senator"
Gasp, I support someone who will find a way to help the homeless, the needy, children without care.
Gasp, I support someone who supports teachers, without which none of us would be where we are.
Gasp, I believe in LGBTQ rights - for all of them being the same as my own.
Gasp, I believe in making the "minimum wage" actually into a "living wage", because most cities in our country don't pay people enough to actually feed themselves, let alone their children.
Gasp, I'm appalled by the wall that has gone up between Mexico and the United States.
Gasp, I support someone who is highly educated, and doesn't claim to see Russia from his backyard.

Stewardship

2008-10-30T08:16:00.000-07:00

I wrote this for my home church's monthly "Courier", and thought I'd post it.

_____________________________________________________

We all try to do our best to be good stewards. More often than not we think of stewardship solely with dollar signs in mind. Our denomination puts forth that stewardship “is not just one part of Christian discipleship; it involves every aspect of life in all the stages of life.” What would it look like to be a living, breathing steward in all aspects and stages of your life?

Stewardship is much more than the giving of money – it’s the giving of time, love, compassion. It’s the recognition that we are not alone in this big human family – that we are called by Jesus himself to care for those around us. It seems so easy sometimes to give money and not time. But what about putting our hands and feet where our money is?

Not living in the Valley for three years has taught me a lot about the Valley. I know that this may sound a little backwards, but growing up here you don’t see the everyday beauty as often as you should. But when I think about the beauty of the Valley, I obviously think of the physical surroundings, but more than that, I think of all of you. I think of the Feeding the Flock group who feeds those who are bound to their homes; of the Soup Kitchens where we have worked and eaten side by side with the homeless of Harrisonburg; I think of our Cooks Creek family who surrounds each other in times of joy – and in times of hardship.

As Cooks Creek followers of Jesus Christ, we are called to continue this work that we have done. We are to live, each day and in every aspect and stage of life, in celebration of the grace we are freely given in Jesus Christ through our time, talents, money, love, and compassion. I have been on the receiving end of God’s grace through your stewardship, and for that, I thank you. I thank you for all of your love, compassion, prayers, and monetary gifts. But more than what you’ve done for me, I thank you for what you’ve done for each other and our community. I thank you and challenge you to continue this ministry in whatever ways and means you are able. Thank you for being a living example of stewardship for me, proving to me what it means to be a faithful member of this family. I think of you often, and tell others of you even more.

Grace and peace to you, from the One who gave it first to us

2008-10-27T17:53:00.000-07:00

Opening night of High School Musical 3 - my weakness! My friends and I dressed up in either caps & gowns or prom like dresses and went to the movie. Two of them (in caps & gowns) were asked if they were paid to dress that way. :) It was a blast!

2008-10-16T21:08:00.000-07:00

So Jake sent me this poem, said they did it in chapel and it reminded him of me. It's beautiful..

The Place I Want to Get Back To

is where
in the pinewoods
in the moments between
the darkness

and first light
two deer
came walking down the hill
and when they saw me

they said to each other, okay,
this one is okay,
let's see who she is
and why she is sitting

on the ground, like that,
so quiet, as if
asleep, or in a dream,
but, anyway, harmless;

and so they come
on their slender legs
and gazed upon me
not unlike the way

I go out to the dunes and look
and look and look
into the faces of the flowers;
and then one of them leaned forward

and nuzzled my hand, and what can my life
bring me that could exceed
that brief moment?
For twenty years

I have gone every day to the same woods,
not waiting, exactly, just lingering.
Such gifts, bestowed,
can't be repeated.

If you want to talk about this
come to visit. I live in the house
near the corner, which I have named
Gratitude.

- Mary Oliver

An odd love affair..

2008-09-21T12:21:00.000-07:00

I've been realizing lately that I have an (almost?) secret love affair with a denomination different than my own. Now, don't get me wrong, it's (a tad) obvious that I love the Presbyterian Church (USA) with all my heart, she has done a lot for me and I've done a lot in return: she has introduced me to this amazing person of Jesus and shown me how I am to live my life according to that which I have been shown in him.

So my secret love affair is with the Disciples of Christ (D.o.C. from now on) denomination. I have a lot of friends who have grown up in the D.o.C. and a few who have become ordained in this denomination. Most of my introduction to the DoC has been through those who I've met in the last two years or so, when I started going to DoC churches more than I ever have (there aren't any within at least 30 miles of my hometown, so it's not really a surprise that I didn't really know much about it before. At home there are Methodists, Presbyterians, Mennonites, & Brethrens mostly represented).

Here in Louisville I sometimes attend a DoC church, for a lot of reasons. One being that there are not many people from the seminary or that I go to school with that I run into while I'm attending these churches. Not that it would be a bad thing to worship side by side of the people I see five days a week, but it's been good for me to make my own experience.

I'm going to have a hard time putting words together.

My roommate and I were watching the documentary "For the Bible Tells Me So" the other day for our class and I realized another reason I love the DoC. In this movie there were a few DoC pastors interviewed. I have a more liberationist/progressive theology than I do anything else, and I am always floored by the amazing things that Jesus did in his time on earth. I have noticed that more often than not DoC churches (and pastors upon interview) are unashamedly excited about doing work in their own neighborhoods and in the world; in their prayers, their announcements, gathering around the table; all from the get-go, they explain and expect their members to be active in the world around them, to be the hands and feet of Christ.

Now, I'm not taking time to poke at the PCUSA or our creeds, confessions and history; these are all things that I embrace and love. I'd just like to see us step up to the plate I guess. I don't want to go to a church (no matter its denomination!) that doesn't reach out and put their hands and feet in the same places where they want their money to go.

It's hard too, finding a church that I feel just as comfy in as I do my home church, or Perrine-Peters UMC in Miami, or even Riverside in Jacksonville. I've been quite lucky to be dropped into situations where I have been a witness to something amazing. I've seen people give their time and talents to Heifer project, or Feeding the Flock, or Bible Schools and mission trips, to unpaid youth and Sunday school positions, food pantry's and homeless shelters, recycling programs or chicken bbq fundraisers.

While I write this I realize a lot of things, and this morning at Hurstborne Christian Church I realized some, too: 1. I love small-medium sized progressive churches, and I miss church. I miss church so much. I miss being a part of a community that stands behind each other as family, upholding their baptismal vows to not only those in their congregation but those outside their doors as well.

...and also with you!

2008-09-09T12:22:00.000-07:00

My friend Andy asked me to write for his blog this week on the peace of Christ, what it means to me, and where I see it working. He also asked that I touch on how I witness this peace when it is passed in the church. I thought since I put it on his I could put it on mine:)

________________________________________________________

I’m an extrovert, and have a bodily-kinesthetic spirituality. These things may not mean anything to many people, but for me it means realizing how I interact with and experience God. There are so many times that I get caught up in my daily routine (or trying to make one), or the wonder of what will come next, that I’ll fail to stop and take a look around. Yet, still, more often than not, the peace of Christ finds me through sight or feeling.

The peace of Christ most recently has been revealed to me through playing baseball with inner city youth, sitting and eating dinner with a homeless person, or singing with the youth group at the top of my lungs. During these times I know exactly what it is to be fully peaceful in the one who has given me that peace. When I am in these places nothing else in the world matters and it seems as though from the bottom of my heart I know that this is exactly what ministry is about. To me the peace of Christ is about love. It’s about recognizing an all encompassing love that we are offered and given, freely, and recognizing Christ in others. Yet at the same time we are given a responsibility to spread that peace to everyone, not just those in our own communities.

I am a hugger. For the most part that means that during the peace of Christ I’ll hug you if I know you somewhat well. Even though it is usually limited to a few short seconds, in that time I want so badly for the other person to find peace in their life. To me the peace of Christ means finding peace in who we are called to be by Christ. We are to live a life worthy of the calling. When we pass the peace at church, do we do so as a welcome, a good morning “hello”, or are we truly hoping that the peace that we hope for in Christ is being shaken through our hands or spread through our hug to the other person, and to us in return?

The peace of Christ that we spread in church affects how I try to live into and spread that peace in the world through my own life. The most important part of the peace of Christ that I take from church is looking around and seeing all that these people I know so well have done for each other and people that they may not ever get to meet. I see them being witnesses of Christ to each other and upholding their baptismal vows inside and outside of the walls of the church.

2008-09-08T10:44:00.000-07:00

Big gulps eh? Welp, see ya later!

Love that quote from Dumb & Dumber. It just popped in my head right now so I thought that I'd write it down. Since I don't have much time, I thought I'd write (emily/numbered style) a few things that have been happening/going through my head lately:

1. I'm a little family-sick. And I don't mean that in a bad way, and it's not exactly "home-sick", but I miss my family a lot. I also miss my friends from home..we'll see what happens and how soon.
2. I moved into a house with three of my friends from Louisville. Not only does this make me feel a little bit more a part of this city, but I love it. I love my friends in Louisville and I honestly feel like this is a place that I'm going to be for awhile. This city, it's people, places, aura, etc. Love it all.
3. One of my friends from Florida is now a student at my seminary, and I couldn't be happier. It's the weirdest thing, having my two worlds (L'ville/Florida) collide, but in a great way..
4. School has started and I can't believe it. Three days under my belt and it's unreal..I've got to start reading again for someone else! Ah!
5. My cousin Kelsey started at UVA in August, and I'm dying to hear how she's doing. Love her:)
6. I am now a member of the Presbyterian Peace Fellowship, and it's an honor. I cherish peace and feel called to share it and help others understand the need. Can't wait!
7. I'm gung-ho about Obama. It's interesting to have been following a politician for over two years now. Since leaving Miami, upon Ali's introduction to Obama, I've been following Barack. I love his ideals, strive for change, and really believe that he's up for it.

Time for class!

Some pictures from my summer at RPC:)

2008-08-14T18:03:00.000-07:00

Caving!
Buddy Jesus! This was at the youth building at a church we passed on the way to our bike trail for Outdoor Challenge, in East Tennessee..luckily I wasn't the only "adult" who thought we HAD to stop and take a picture:)
We met some of the family from Little People Big World. They were so nice, with such a good family.
Most of our group at the Heifer Ranch, being ultimately ridiculous. I love it:) This was in June.

2008-08-14T18:01:00.000-07:00

When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace. -Jimi Hendrix

2008-06-13T15:29:00.000-07:00

I've come to really appreciate this quote. I know this is my personal blog, but there are times when I think for a second before posting something possibly political. But then I realize who Jesus was, and who I try to be in following him. Therefore, I post this quote as one of my favorites, and while realizing we are all guilty to an extent of loving power, I feel like the people who love power the most are in charge of the first world countries. This makes me extremely sad.

Something that I want to do, as many of you who read this probably know, is love people for a living. I want to be a part of the change in the world where EVERYONE gets a chance to eat three meals a day, where everyone knows that they are loved and cared for, and where people do not have to wonder where their next meal comes from, let alone worry if it is going to come at all.

I'm pretty stoked about the 2008 election. This being said, I'm also pretty stoked about Barack Obama. People ask me why, and I can give you a bunch of political answers, but it comes down to the fact that can't you just picture sitting down and hanging out w/ Barack? (Note. I do have other reasons. This is just a small yet important one that is slightly amusing). I feel like he would be chill enough to not only sit down and talk with me, but he wouldn't be thinking about his next appointment that may or may not be more important than that moment with me. His platform is change, and I really feel like he is going to do this. I don't want to say that I think he is for change because of where he's been and what he sees (which, OBVIOUSLY is part of it already), but I think it's because he cares. He cares about the people around him at the moment and he cares for the people of the world, whether or not they are a card carrying American citizen or not.

I don't know what happened to the America that so many people I know believe in. It seems as though for the most part we all want the same things: a good education for our children (& adults!), a safe place for them to play and spend their time, a balanced economy where not only wealthy people are rewarded, stellar health care, a country that cares for everyone, etc. etc. I'm a Kennedy fan, and recently purchased this month's Vanity Fair that features Bobby K himself. I wonder a bit what the country would look like had someone not taken it upon themselves to think they had the right to take his life (or the life of his brother, for that matter). I just feel like he really knew what was going on, how to treat people and how to have big dreams with present realities about how to achieve them, and also, (scandalous!) how to end a war that seemed pretty knee deep and unrelenting.

I just realized that there were a lot of places that I wanted to go with my ADD-ness just now, and many of them would have sounded pretty communist. I am deemed worthy by the government to be loaned money to get my masters degree, I am allowed and able to hold a job, and even though it's freakin' expensive, because of those loans, I am allowed to have adequate health care. I did not grow up in a wealthy household, but I am blessed to say that I grew up in a household that valued individuality while valuing family and community relationships at the same time; a household where I was taught to be proud of being a woman, where I learned I was blessed to live on a farm and learn how to cultivate the land, blessed to HAVE, because even though we didn't have it all, some had nothing. And most importantly I was taught that it was part of my calling in life to take care of others who didn't have any of that.

Taking this seriously, I want to be part of a country that does the same, and not only talks about it. I want to be part of a country where people don't just give money to random things because they don't want to take the time to get up out of their own fenced in yards to do something about the fact that there are people in our own small towns who need help. There are children who are in our kids' classrooms who actually don't have a home to go to (and we wonder why they aren't able to get straight A's?). We are not, it turns out, the only nation in the world; there are non-American faces in the backgrounds of the pictures of our soldiers, faces who are still smiling even though their governments and ours decided to duke it out in their backyard. There are countries we can learn from because they provide healthcare to everyone who walks in the door, whether they are a citizen or not. The only qualification they ask for: do you need medical attention?

Sure, I am the pot calling the kettle black in so many situations. There is always going to be more that needs to be done, people that need help. I think that the US can be on the brink of something big. I have friends who care about others more than they care about themselves, teachers, pastors, builders, Christians, non-Christians, etc, who are changing the world by starting in their own place, realizing that it is through that exact moment that they are living in that things will change, that people will know they are loved, and that they are not alone in wanting just to be able to live their life.

Baseball & Hospitals

2008-06-11T19:19:00.001-07:00

Tonight I went to see the Jacksonville Suns baseball team play. The Suns are a AA farm team for the Dodgers. It was just amusing because I went by myself. My friend Chris was thinking about coming, and when I talked to him he had just woken up, at 6:30 pm. Ha. Anyways, it just makes me laugh because I tend to not mind to do things by myself. I go to movies alone, baseball games, and wherever. It's just interesting b/c people are always surprised. I mean, I don't think that if I had a choice to be with others or go alone I would choose alone, but it doesn't bother me, is what I'm saying.

On another note, today I went by myself to the hospital to visit the two folks from our church that are there. I'm pretty excited that it went so well. I'm sad though, that two amazing church members are spending tonight in the hospital, and that most likely means alone. The first woman that I visited I met on Sunday for the first time, and she had a double hip replacement. She was in such high spirits for just getting out of surgery yesterday. Her family had been by, and she was just relaxing, reading an Anne Lammott book (which was pretty cool because I read the same book last year & we got to talk about it). The second man that I visited is a bit older and having a rougher time. I walked in and hadn't actually met him yet, so when I said his name and couldn't tell what he said in return I was worried that it wasn't the person I was supposed to be visiting. Then I realized what the heck? No matter what I'm visiting someone, some child of God, whether they go to Riverside or not.

Jacksonville!

2008-06-02T18:01:00.000-07:00

Ok. So here I am, in Jacksonville, Florida, working for a larger church in the town of Riverside. Apparently Jacksonville is the largest city in the world, land-wise (says a few folks I have met), and is your typical big city with a bunch of little towns in it.

Riverside Presbyterian Church is set in (historic) Five Points, which is a pretty eclectic little place that has coffee shops that have punk bands at night, local restaurants, a few chain restaurants, a Publix (yay for the return to Publix country!), and some other things that are a quick walk away. I've really missed being in a place where I can walk everywhere. This makes me unbelievably happy. I've had a lot of lunch meetings and every single one has been able to walk down to Five Points and grab a bite to eat. Given, I'll probably have eaten at every single one by the end of the summer, but it's all good, and at least I'm walking there.

So far so good down here in the 90+ weather. I'm finding myself loving the two college interns that I work with, and they fill me in on the church and the normal to-dos, because they both grew up in this church and know the happenings, the ins and outs of the trips we take, and just the all around who's who, which is completely helpful. The three of us gather (well, a lot of the time anyway) but especially Monday mornings at Starbucks in Five Points, and this morning walked to the park at the river to have a little meeting. We usually sit down with the calendar and just realize who needs to do what, what's happening this week, and who needs help from the others. It's quite a system we've got going.

I've also made some friends down here so far (including Paige and Courtney, the other interns). A friend from Louisville introduced me to his college buddy, and the first week I was here I met him, and since then have gone to the beach with he and his friends, and he came to hear me preach. So it's pretty exciting to have a friend that isn't associated really with the church..and lives at the beach!

Thus far I've had lunch meetings, gone to movies, night worship services, eaten dinners, had an "Office" party, and have been engulfed in welcome by this community. I'm not sure that I could have asked for a better experience this summer. I already realize the amount of knowledge that I have the opportunity to take from this place and these people, who I am sure I will have a hard time parting with come August.

This week is the last "down" week until we all hit the ground running just a bit more than we already are. Next week we start "Summer in the City" while simultaneously doing Vacation Bible School. At my home church we do VBS at night but here it's 9am-noon. A few years ago the church realized that the older kids were kind of bored by VBS and so started an in the city outreach/mission week where we'll hit up various places, doing community service each day while VBS happens at the church. Summer in the City is for middle school folks, and I'm pretty stoked about it! Then at the end of next week I head to San Jose, California for the PCUSA's General Assembly. Should be a good time!

On a separate note, I'm only 45 minutes from the camp I worked at last summer. Friday I went to camp to babysit the Executive director's kids, and it was a blast. It's exciting b/c I knew that if I couldn't be in Louisville or Virginia I wanted to be close to people that I felt a connection with, and this ended up being a good fit. I've been able to see some good friends from last summer multiple times, as they're not that far away. It's been good for my soul thus far.

Falling, yes I am falling...

2008-05-10T17:58:00.000-07:00

I am a little addicted to the song "I've Just Seen A Face" from Across the Universe (THE BEATLES!)..and really this blog has nothing to do with that..except it's in my head right now..

So it's the Saturday before I move, along with three of my friends, into our house, and two weeks from today I will have been moved into the house I'm staying in Jacksonville. It hit me today when I was writing papers and packing that in two weeks I'll be in Jax. Weird. But amazing. Just like last year, recent weeks have reminded me how much I love this town and the people in it, and how much I am going to miss them all this summer. I know that Jax is going to be incredible, and I don't want it to sound like I am taking away from that at all, it's just always hard to leave a place. At least I know that I'll be back in the fall.

On that note, I'm so excited about working at Riverside this summer. The opportunities that are arising out of this are incredible, and I have spoken with so many people about it that have made me more excited. Also, the staff from the camp I worked at last summer is coming to sing to our congregation and talk about camp one sunday this summer, so that'll be pretty exciting to see all of them there.

But right this second, sitting in KT's room with the girls, kind of working on a paper, kind of blogging, kind of chatting, and kind of watching Hitch, I would rather be nowhere else..

Friends are chosen family, in whose presence we feel at home..

2008-05-04T18:43:00.000-07:00

Derby Week. You would think that I wouldn't have to say much more than that, seeing that you don't have to explain to folks who actually live here in town (Louisville, obviously). Before moving here I had watched said event every year with my family on t.v. Pretty cool to watch, obviously. But it's one of those things that you had to leave your t.v. on all day just to wait for the "big event" that doesn't event start until 6pm.

But what they don't really show you on television is the infield. The infield is a beautiful little setting that I like to describe to people as a county fair minus the rides (and plus the mint juleps, I suppose). Anyways, for my second time going after living in this fine city, it was amazing. This year we took public transportation, all 15 or so of us, made friends on the bus, got off it right in front of Churchill Downs, paid our dues, and got to hang out with a bunch of other ridiculous people, all without seeing a horse all day..(I might have to admit I think I saw the top of ones head, pretty far away). And honestly? I wouldn't have it any other day. The highlights of the day are gonna be in a list, as is the emily way (in no particular order, except number 1)

1. Adam and Tyler coming all the way from PA and VA, to hang out w/ me and bet on some horses (and bond with all my friends here..seriously I have amazing family)
2. Sheriff. In all his forms.. ha..
3. Kyle wearing seer-suckers
4. Walking seriously from one end of Louisville to the other, with Wick's pizza waiting for us at the end..
5. "It's tradition! We did it last year!"
6. Having almost all of my Louisville friends in one place at one time, sitting & standing around shootin' the bull from 10am-11pm, makes me giddy
7. Feeling like a part of the KY
8. Seeing the Goo Goo Dolls, B-52's, Scott Miller, Mason Jennings, and Brett Dennen..all in four days
9. Realizing how much I miss riding public transportation. No, seriously!

And many, many more.. :) I'm thankful. It was a good week..

p(RED)estination prom 08!

2008-04-28T20:50:00.000-07:00

Life, love, and preaching..

2008-04-21T20:32:00.000-07:00

So last night I preached my first sermon since being in seminary at the InterFaith Center where I work. The thing is I've already given this sermon in my preaching class, where I wasn't really nervous in the least. Last night I gave the sermon in front of 14 of my colleagues and students, and was completely nervous. Steve asked if I was sure that I didn't want to do that full time each week, and I laughed, then he proceeded to tell me that he was serious, he really thought I would be good at it. I was like well, I appreciate your kind words..but..our jobs rock:) I really love where I work. Really. Really..

My mom emailed me last night about the new house, just asking the right parental questions that she and dad came up with when checking out the house online. Writing her back I ended up rambling, as I do sometimes (sometimes?) about just a few things that have been a bit heavy on my heart. I realized while finishing up the email that mom has never once made fun of me for any feelings that I have had, any guys that I have dated, or any heartbreak that I have been in (or put myself through). Wow. I respect that so much in her. Obviously there are a lot of things that I respect about her, and love, I just can't get over how amazing she is in times where I just am sad. It doesn't happen I suppose that often, but still. She's always there. So is my dad. Talk about someone who understands without having to say a word..

Seminary Sorority House

2008-04-19T19:09:00.000-07:00

My friend Kyle coined this phrase for the house that my three friends and I were looking into renting for our third year of seminary and the time afterwards. "Seminary Sorority House". Well, I've never been in a sorority, or gone to a school with greek life at all, so maybe I'll learn something. Ha. Just kidding. The four of us are probably pretty far from being anything resembling a sorority house.

Anyways, I'm just pretty excited about the house that we're renting. Not only am I renting it with three of my close friends here at school, but all of us think that our transition from seminary to wherever we may go (or stay) will be a bit easier than if we are living on campus and moving somewhere directly afterwards. Well, the landlord is awesome, and he compromised with the rent, and the house is perfect. It's walking distance to my bank, favorite coffee shop, food store, target, thai restaurant, etc. There are so many places that I can walk to. I'm stoked because when I rode the bus in Miami we walked everywhere, and then since then I've wanted to live somewhere I could walk to so many places. We can ride our bikes everywhere if we so choose, including campus.

I'm just excited. It should be great. I'm stoked. We want to make sure that our community is exactly that, a community, where we at least eat dinner once a week together, making time for each other. I miss that.

Ubi Caritas Et Amor, Ubi Caritas Deus Ibi Est

2008-04-10T09:03:00.001-07:00

Where there is charity, God is also.

Wow. Amen.

This morning my Sacraments and Globalization class was in charge of putting together the chapel service. So 8 or so of us were in today's group whose theme was to be the Eucharist. What we intended was not saying the words of institution, as not to get in any kind of formal trouble with the PCUSA, but not having a formal eucharist either. We set up a picnic in the chapel, with all sorts of different, random foods, and talked about the connection between hospitality, globalization, and a world where no matter how flat our world we seem to disconnect and be more inhospitable than ever.

Opening up the confession time we asked people to share times when ourselves have been or been a witness to a time of un-hospitality. Then, instead of a sermon, we read biblical stories of meals being shared, intertwined with personal stories of when have you experienced the sacrament in a non-traditional way, followed by the singing of Ubi Caritas.

This morning turned out to be exactly what I had been needing and searching for without even knowing. I left the service filled with joy and the grace of God but also, as a prayer we prayed, feeling unrest in my part of un-hospitality to the stranger.

I got the story-ball rolling by telling of my group of friends here in Louisville. There are a solid group of 10-12 of us that, when even one person is missing, we look around and are sad of their absence. This is a beautiful notion of love for me. Once, during one of our many pot lucks, we were sitting around sharing all kinds of food when it hit me that this is what it must have been like for the disciples. Friends who were sitting around, laughing, crying, sharing, breaking bread together. I can't imagine a life without these people. Three of them were at the chapel service, and looking around, seeing the faces of Marie, Christine, and Rob I was humbled in the realization that yes, this is what it is all about..

To Stephen, Shannon, Makenzie, and baby Wilson, with love

2008-03-30T15:52:00.000-07:00

So my cousin Stephen told me that I tend to write about all these crazy people that I come across yet never about him. So here it is, Stephen, this blog goes out to you and the beautiful girls in your household. I don't know if it'll say much, but it's all good. :) I'm avoid writing a sermon, after all.

Easter was spent with family. I tend to think that this should always be so, but I think it also depends on each of our definitions of family. The first easter that I spent away from my blood relatives was 2006, then again in 2007, where I was in Miami. Had Kirstine not wanted to start a new tradition of having it at her house, I probably would have spent it in Miami three years in a row, with the Miami/Perrine-Peters UMC family that loved me then and continues to love me now.

It's exciting to know that I am helping Kirstine and Thomas create traditions of their own. I don't know if my presence did much, but it meant a lot to be with my parents and family and Thomas' parents and sister for a couple days. Often after I leave Virginia though, I realize that I am a changed person from the girl who moved away three years ago. My family reminds me of who I was and who I am, but it's also hard to give them a glimpse into who I have become when I only get to spend a few days with them at a time. This is very, very hard when you're a family person. It's obvious that I came into my own during my time at Bridgewater College, yet at the same time I think that Miami and Louisville have taken those seeds of who I am and helped to make that come out a lot more. Rambling. It's what I do best.

Back to Stephen. Stephen Wilson is my wonderful cousin who lives in Moore, Oklahoma, who loves baseball and family as much as I do. Stephen is a prime example of what I love about family. I don't get to see him very often, but when I do, it's like no time has gone by. The last time I saw Stephen was in September of last year, where I got to hang out with his wife, my friend, Shannon, (who I completely wish I saw more often, she's fab) and meet his daughter for the first time. The Wilson family (my mom's maiden name is Wilson) is HUGE. I can't stress this enough, but we have family reunions every couple years that bring people together from far distances. I realize that a lot of folks don't know their extended family, but my own extended family isn't really extended because of the opportunities I have gotten to know them. Stephen's so much more than a cousin, he's a friend. BOOMER SOONER, Stephen, BOOMER SOONER..

Outward signs of faith

2008-03-13T10:24:00.000-07:00

So during my time in Israel last year I realized something that I was very attracted to: Jewish men. Sandra is too, but she knew that before going (I suppose she had a bit more experiences with Jewish people, there aren't many in Harrisonburg). Well, last night at the Jewish Community Center where I am a member I was on a machine behind a man who was on a treadmill. Well, not that I was attracted to this man, but it reminded me of Jerusalem, because the man was wearing his prayer shawl underneath his workout clothes, and you could tell by the tassles that were hanging down over his pants from underneath his shirt.

This may sound different if your exposure to religious Jewish people is limited. But I love this. I think that this outward sign of faith is extremely powerful and attractive. I know that I'm in seminary, and maybe people aren't surprised by it, but I'm attracted (as some of my friends are) to men who are passionate about their faith, whether they are in ministry or not. The fact that religiously Jewish men are not afraid to wear something under their clothes (and even their workout clothes!) to show their faith is incredible to me. I really appreciate and respect it, not just am attracted to it.

Ohhhhhh the Lord's been good to me..

2008-03-10T22:44:00.000-07:00

..and so I write an "I'm thankful for" list! These really aren't in order of importance, minus the number 1 & 2..

20. a "quoting" group of friends that I would fight you for

19. Israel and Palestine

18. The Derby, which brings people togetherrr

17. Massanetta & Montgomerrrrryyyyyyy (Campy camp, yay!)

16. having a car, a place to sleep, a phone to talk to family, clothes on my back, people to love and who love me back, food on the table, etc.

15. free t-shirts, even if they have sketchy metaphors on the back..this could, in a roundabout way that only I understand, be connected to number 6.

14. O.A.R. radio on Pandora, which saw me through 6 hours at the coffee shop (tied with this one, wherever on the chart it is, is Rocky Votolato's song "Makers")

13. my broken heart this week because the students (and Sarah) are gone on ASB and I couldn't
go..but I'm thankful for this because I have them in my life anyways, and if I didn't my life would be completely different..

12. the Patriot joke that only a few people are in on

11. postsecret postsecret

10. the movie pride and prejudice which grabs my heart over and over..

9. passion, in its many forms.

8. BOOKS. Big ones, little ones. Long ones, short ones. Colorful ones, picture ones. Ones about
globalization, ones about how to become a pirate.

7. professors who can tell the things i'm passionate about

6. people who challenge me to be who i truly am, whether they know it or not (or care or not, it's still appreciated)

5. honesty

4. the coupons my grandma sends in the mail, and the love note attached, which brings me to tears

3. sweet tea

2. my family and friends

1. amaaazing grace

Ok. Whew. That's enough for now. I'll stop there. But Lord knows there are sooooo many more on the list. Maybe one day I'll just write and write and write and write and write them down.......

A Heart So Big It Hurts Like Hell?

2008-03-05T21:02:00.000-08:00

Tonight I went out to a little place called Shenanigans with Sarah & Amy, one of which is the Newman Center (Catholic Campus Ministries) Director, the other which is an Episcopal priest. Both of these amazing women make me proud to be a resident of Louisville, Kentucky..

The three of us have been trying to get together for months, seriously, and two of the times have been interrupted by sickness and two by natural disasters (no joke). So we figured unless frogs started falling from the sky we'd get a chance to hang out..

I just have these weird little epiphanies with people, but it's usually people who get me to the core, who understand who I am, who I want to be, and what my deep desires in life are, while at the same time loving me for my flaws. This a beautiful thing when you think about it. I just realized that I was sitting with two beautiful, strong, female ministers who are doing amazing things to change the world and their part in it. I love that - I love people who make me feel at home, not only in physicality but in my own skin.

When I think about not being here for the summer, I think of Amy, Sarah, Marie, KT, Es, Christine, Rob, Adam, Bish, Jake, Brianne, Macky, Karin & Joe, Burnetta, Lisa, Lexvegas folks, all the UofL students, and many more, and it makes me sad that I won't be around. Then I realize that I'll be here in august, and will resume some of the best friendships I've had with these folks. Then it brings me comfort to know that even if I don't know where I'll be after graduation, I'll still be in this town for a while. I think of Sarah often, when I think about not being in Kentucky, and my heart breaks. I know this is normal for me, as it happened (and continuously does) about Miami, but I think in a way Louisville is different. I've made so many friends, in fellow students, colleagues, mentors, etc. that are my age and spend time with me that make this town sticky for my soul.

It's appreciated. And I thank God daily for it. I am blessed, continually, for all that I have here, seeing that so many people have unknowingly made this a place where I am comfortable, accepted, and loved. Wow. If only every single person felt the way that I do right now. So I guess to Sarah & Amy, thank you. Thank you..

There's a song lyric that says "I can't stand to think about a heart so big it hurts like hell." Well, me neither. But I sure can try. And if it hurts like hell to have a heart that big, I'll endure the pain I guess.

A friend sent me this on facebook the other day, and I think it's beautiful:

..This is a creature on fire with love, but it's still scary since most people think love only looks like one thing, instead of the whole world..

I get by with a little help from my friends...

2008-02-29T22:57:00.001-08:00

..I wouldn't survive Louisville/Seminary/etc. without these (and a few that're missing) people in my life..I mean look at those faces? Who wouldn't want to spend all their down time with them?

Being a Catholiterianite..y mas..

2008-02-24T15:58:00.000-08:00

Catholic+Presbyterian+Mennonite=Catholiterianite

This is the term that I have come up with to describe my ecu-denominational status. I was born into the Presbyterian Church (becoming uber-Presby in college at a Church of the Brethren school), grew up (and will always call home) where my neighbors are Old Order Mennonites (and I wanted to be one so badly, especially when riding around in buggies with my babysitters), and now work in a Catholic city with many Catholic students and friends.

I suppose I should fit Brethren in there somewhere, seeing that I'm pretty sure my upbringing and college years (Yay Jordan!) moved me into Pacifism. Recently I had a wonderful conversation with Amgad, a man who works at the Presby Center in downtown Louisville, who is a Presby pacifist. We, and others, agreed that there are more Presbyterian pacifists than there used to be, and probably more than we can know. I don't agree with war, the definitive use of guns that we have overutilized, fighting to win over governments, people, lands, or the forced take over of places because they are not running as we in the west think they should. And what is just war? I mean, I know the definition itself, but really? How do we think about war within our Christian faith? Do people even understand the role that Jesus had? Sure he was born (yay Christmas!), sure he died on a cross for all of us (yay?), and sure he arose, yet again, for all of us (yay Easter!), but what about in between? Do we remember what happened in between?

Today the pastor at Harvey Browne Presbyterian Church here in L'ville preached on the passage in John where Jesus our Christ asks for a drink from a Samaritan woman whom he runs into at the well. WHAT?! A samaritan giving a drink to a Jewish man? Holy crap, this made history! (No, really it did..) Well, backstory is that I tried to go to another church this morning that someone recommended, and, not being able to find it, was headed to another church when I decided to go to H.B. Obviously I was supposed to be there today, as the pastor's message was fantastic, hitting the nail on the head for the things I am passionate for: who are our enemies? Why "them"? And when it comes down to it, they're welcome at the table in the same fashion that we are. My skin is not the same color that Jesus' was. I mean, crazy to think about, I know, but Jesus wasn't white. Nor was he from America. But he still welcomes me at the table. No matter if you look like me, we are told that all are welcome. ALL. Beautiful. Beautiful..these things are scandalous in some churches, which makes me sad.

The KCSC Retreat was this weekend and I attended with a bunch of UofL Catholic students and a lot of others from across Kentucky. The Kentucky Catholic Student Coalition is fantastic, and I admire them in so many ways. Being student run, led, planned, etc., they manage to get 60 students from at least six schools in KY together that are so excited about their faith. It's so student oriented that Campus Ministers are only there in case there are questions or help is needed in a particular situation. Needless to say Sarah, Marie, and I ended up going to Wal-Mart a minimum of four times to get food and medicine for the students. I don't shop at Wal-Mart, but where we were that was all that was available to us (imagine that, here in the good ole US of A). Anyways, I think it's incredible that they have taken this retreat and run with it, and pull it off in a way that makes students come back to this retreat 10 or 12 times. Dedication.

Running the risk of this being way longer than it should because people probably check out, I love Grace. I am overwhelmed continually at the grace that I am offered. I love hymns, and Come Thou Fount is one of my faves. If you know me you know that I connect my life through music often, and often have amazing God moments through song, and am in love with the words to this particular hymn:

O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I'm constrained to be..

The debt that I have can never be repaid. God probably laughs at me trying. So I will continue to observe and participate in a life where I am called by grace to love. This love does in fact include myself, but more than that it includes every single other person that I encounter in my life, whether they look like myself or not.

St. Meinrad!

2008-02-23T20:35:00.000-08:00

This post goes out to my new friends, Brother Silas and Father Anthony...

Naturally the hippest monks I've ever met, conversed, and cooked with...

And since I told Brother Silas I would make a post that pretty much just said hello to him, this is the beginning and the end of it, except to say that I can't believe the smooth exit that you made while I was making my announcement tonight. Wow. Nice work, friend.

Earth's crammed with heaven, and every common bush afire with God; but only he who sees, takes off his shoes. The rest sit round it and pluck blackberries. -Elizabeth Barrett Browning

www.gasperriverretreatcenter.org ..can't wait to return..

We all know what Dane Cook calls it...

2008-02-21T14:28:00.000-08:00

It's a snow day. Or an ice day. Therefore my ridiculous day that was going to go from 9 am to 9 pm continuously didn't happen. But my ponderings as of late (that have, obviously) not been blogged, are about l o v e. My closest friends and I talk about this all the time..well, at least when we're frustrated, happy, sad, curious, or wondering what kind of advice we need to seek.

Why is it that there are people in your life that know you from the inside out, who could predict your next move sooner than you could, that relate to you in conversation, personality, etc. but it's just not there? What is "it", and why isn't it there? Why does it seem like that person should be the one (if you so choose to believe there is only 'one' - or if you would like to say, the 'one right now'), but since there is obviously that attraction missing, you just can't, and won't (in my case) allow yourself to go there?

Some would ask what happens when two peoples' dreams don't collide. Well, who says they have to collide? I have friends who are going into ministry and their spouses are doing something completely different (different minus the priesthood of all believers thing...). The Avett Brothers have a song which says: "And if your love laughs at your dreams, well it's not as bad as it seems, either way one of them has got to go." But I completely disagree. This is one of my favorite songs at the moment, but I disagree wholeheartidly with this statement. Why does either one have to go? I contend that neither does.

Sure I would like to be with someone who is spontaneous, loves Christ, dancing in the rain, swings, laughing and talking until 4 a.m., service, camp, etc. But the fact of the matter is I may find someone who loves all those things, and "it" is still not present. But what if "it" is? Whew.

We've all done stupid things. I'll admit it. And pining after bad choices is also something that we do. Why do we pine over people who may or may not be good for us? Who may even be ridiculously bad decisions? Because we do. Is it because we're afraid this is it? That there may not be anything else waiting for me on my path? Well, what about timing. What if you've met that person, are friends with them already, and it is obvious that right now isn't the right time? What does that even mean! Do we have to make it the right time by taking some sort of action? Or do we just sit back and hope the universe comes through? This boggles my mind..in more ways than one..

Prayer and pizza theology...life. is. good.

2008-02-20T19:25:00.000-08:00

Tonight I had a chance to hang out with some of the coolest Catholic's I have ever known, while attending the CCM at UofL's pizza theology. This lovely thing that happens once a month brings in Father Lou to talk about stuff Catholic's believe and about their faith, over pizza (obviously, you say? Yes.) Well tonight Brother Silas, a monk from a nearby monastery (St. Meinrad in Indiana) joined us for a discussion about prayer. When no students would answer his questions (they're quiet, and they're used to Father Lou talking most of the time!) he looked at me, knowing where I am in school, etc, and said, What about you? What do you think? My response? "Can you repeat the question?" The question is about a relationship with God, why it is important in the first place. Well, I said, I realized somewhere along the line that I don't know who I am apart from God. I grew up in the church, the same church I was born into, as was my dad and granddaddy. Needless to say I've been nurtured. But that didn't mean anything until it hit me that I can't know myself without my attempt at knowing God. But what does that mean? What do I do with that?

There's a quote on a note card in my bathroom that I shared with the group: You pray in your distress and in your need; would that you might also pray in the fullness of your joy and in your abundance. (Kahlil Gilbran). Well, we talked so much about how we pray when we need something and when we are sad and feel alone. But what about those times where we are forced into realization of the beauty we are given in everything because and by God? I put the quote in my bathroom because that obviously is somewhere I see every day. No matter how I spin it, I am wealthy. I may leave seminary with loans equaling a small car, but that still makes me rich. I have food on my table every day, I probably have enough money in books to feed a small town, I own a t.v. (which in itself is gigantic), I own a car (WHAT?!), a couch, and a bed. I have a bed to sleep in. I HAVE A BED TO SLEEP IN. Have you ever stopped to think about that? There are people concerned for my safety. Thank God..thank God.

But what do I do about those who don't? I know this started out as a discussion about prayer...but is my walking prayer for those less fortunate that I enough? Is it enough for me to be knowledgeable about the world, or is it crappy that I'm sitting here, on the laptop that I bought and own (what?!), just talking? Is it just talk? Or is the matter of awareness enough?

My friend marie knows that one of these days I am going to visit a place, do work/service/aide/help in some way, and not leave. I thought about this a lot lately, because she points it out every once in a while. Talking to Crystal the other day made me realize that is probably going to be a part of my call in the near future, in some form or another. There have been a few places where I have felt strongly about staying, not moving an inch, just BEING and serving in that place and time. But once I'm done with school, I can do that right? Right?!

I'm tired, exhausted, done. Today has been fantastic. I got to be at a place where I work that I adore, with people that I adore, respect, and can't see my life without. I got to drive my car around the coolest town on my way there, and sit in a coffee shop with a good friend and talk about life. Life is good. To quote John Mayer "I know the heart of life is good." I have hope. I have lots of it.

Some may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one..

Church Nerd Hobbies/Globalization

2008-02-07T22:44:00.000-08:00

Maybe this should be entitled "Church Nerd Hobbies". I don't know when I became a nerd about church, but I love church. I was the typical kid who thought they had won the lottery on days when we couldn't stay for church, just sunday school, or, which seldom happened: we didn't go at all. Those were big days, because I might just get to sleep more (doubtful). What changed? What flipped the switch for me to see the beauty in the service? A lot of it had to do with, I'm sure, my senior year of high school getting a new, permanent pastor who truly cared for me, my softball games, how I was doing in school, life, etc. But I think most of it had to do with Massanetta Springs Middle School Conference. Wow. I could write a book about that. The long and short of it is that I realized, as a high school counselor (Enabler, but that always confuses people), that worshiping Christ could and should be fun, and that showing others that was something that I loved to do.

So...fast forward to me now, at 24, and am the girl who looks at church websites for fun. Marie makes fun of me, but if I find out someone is from a certain church or is from a certain area but grew up in a church, I'll google it. Why? It's interesting! Some churches have websites, some don't. Some have good websites, some don't (at all). You can tell a lot by a churches website. The language they use, what they deem to be so important that it's on the front page, what's not important and takes you forever to find, etc. I like church, I like churches, I like knowing the things that churches are doing, whether they focus on preaching, worship, outreach, mission; whether they're inward focused on their members or outward focused on the world that we are called to serve.
__________________________
On another note, class started today for the Spring semester...Thursdays are obviously going to be ridiculous and full, but at the same time my favorite class will most likely be on this day. I've got a lot of globalization going on, with taking "Sacraments and Globalization" and "God and Globalization". My night class, the latter, is going to be incredible. The professors are great, knowledgeable, and willing to learn right along with us as this is the first class of its kind offered here. I can't wait to talk more about globalization and what effect the church has had on it and what effect it has had on the church. Realizing, too, that we are part of the globe, part of the solution, and part of the problem. We buy, sell, trade, anything that we can get our hands on yet don't always stop to think about the implications of where it came from, where it's going, and where it's been. Who has it affected? Was it in a bad, harmful way? Were there serious consequences to this making it to my hands? I'm stoked to talk about these things. It's funny, because I'm not even upset that it's a Thursday class that meets for three hours at night...Let the games begin...

West Louisville, Montreat, Slidell, Slidell, Slidell....

2008-01-19T11:54:00.000-08:00

While at Montreat Collegiate Conference a few weeks ago I got together on the side of all the other that was happening with some friends that I've had and a few new ones. Our topic of conversation? What now?! People always seem to be "high on Jesus drugs" as Luke (not the gospel, don't worry) put it, when they are at conferences and camps, and then a week after returning home it's back to life as we know it. But what if life as we know it was different? What if it changed? What if the strive to be as Jesus is and do as Jesus teaches us carried over into every day and week of our life? One of the guys sent us an email reminding us this week what we said that we would do in the week following Montreat. Below is my response to them..

I'm glad to have a reminder from you all of what I said that I would do in response to my frustration. I can say that Marie and I went to the "West End" of Louisville last week because we realized that we've never really driven/walked/biked/scooted around it, and to people who live in the east end (where the seminary is) we don't even understand that Louisville actually continues past downtown. Who would have thought?!?! So, we drove around, talked to some people at a thrift store, got some sweet tea. It was awesome. It was good for my soul because it hurt my soul. West Louisville is broken down, there are less and less trees the further west you get, and the houses more and more dilapidated. Why does the city think that it's alright for there to be more liquor stores than supermarkets? I could go on and on, but I guess the big thing I did last week was make myself aware of the West End. What's happening there, ministry and outreach wise, is next on my list. We discovered a few places that do in depth poverty immersion, and so I'm thinking of trying that, and a couple other campus ministers and I talked about doing that with the students, too, as some of them also expressed interest. Awareness. Awareness...
_______________________
So next Saturday Katie, Marie, and I will head to Slidell, Louisiana. We'll be spending the better part of a week in and around Slidell and New Orleans doing whatever work the outreach (http://www.pcoslidell.org/index.html) asks of us. The three of us were sitting around one day talking about how we wished that our school did more mission work, aide, outreach, etc., practicing what we preach day in and day out. We find common voices of complaint about the world and community being a crappy place, but are we doing as much as we could, or are we spending a bit too much time on the couch? After the Presby Mission Conference in October we were jump started into realizing that all three of us feel called to mission in some way, and we were going to act on it. So...to Slidell we go. I was there (and will be there again) last Alternative Spring Break with the campus ministry, and Marie was there over the summer. I thought that I was going to stay and never leave. There is so much to be done where Katrina hit, so much rebuilding of not only people's physical livlihood, but also their emotional and spiritual health. I really want to be a part of the effort that so many from around the world have been supporting. So...off we go...

Renewing your baptism...

2008-01-13T14:17:00.000-08:00

When I get to go to a church of my choice in Louisville I get pretty excited. I think about all the options and where I could go, and then don't end up making my decision until I leave the parking lot. Often the decision has a lot to do with 1. how many people will I see that I know? (Which usually makes or breaks it as I like to go places I don't see the people I see every day)...2. what time it starts and if I'm ready by 10:15, because that usually means I can go to any church I want...or 3. Is it the same as every church I ever go to, or am I leaving my comfort zone? The latter is bueno.

Well this morning I ended up returning to a church I visited once last year, remembering that it reminded me just a small bit like my home & Miami churches and that I enjoyed it. I walked in, opened the bulletin, and was told that it was Renewing Your Baptism Sunday. YES! I love Baptism! Anne Lammot has a great quote that goes a little something like this:

"Because Christianity is about water: ‘Everyone that thirsteth, come ye to the waters.’ Most of what we do in worldly life is geared toward our staying dry, looking good, not going under. But in baptism, in lakes and rain and tanks and fonts, you agree to do something that's a little sloppy because at the same time it's also holy, and absurd. It's about surrender, giving in to all those things we can't control; it's a willingness to let go of balance and decorum and get drenched." -Anne Lamott

I love it! On Thursday I was leaving the InterFaith Center and it was raining, which someone reminded me of while offering me a ride to my car. It's raining! I said. I love rain, it reminds me of baptism! Ok, by now you're realizing that I am a huge nerd. Go ahead, make the assumption, I accepted it long ago with open arms. But what isn't beautiful about Baptism? Many churches you walk into you can't even locate the baptismal fount. This church this morning wanted to discuss the baptism of Jesus by John the Baptist, and when we left we were encouraged to dip our hands in the water while remembering our baptism. Beautiful! When we are baptized (in my tradition usually as babies, but we also baptize adults) the whole community comes together in unifying love saying "I support you and will promise to lift you up through all your days and guide you through your life in Christ". What could be more special than that? It is the work of Christ through other people and the love that they share with you.

Whew. I can imagine my church the day of my baptism, all the people that I have grown up being close with, spending family time with, going to youth group and mission trips with, and the people who said yes and didn't doubt my sense of call towards ministry. It blows my mind that a group of people can come together over each other for this purpose.

I Feel Most Alive in the Rain...

2007-12-09T16:44:00.000-08:00

I have determined that I feel most alive when it's raining, and when I get to bask in the rain. Today I went food shopping and was walking outside amidst other Louisvillians running from their cars to and fro Kroger, leaving carts in the middle of the isles so as to not have to be caught in the rain much longer. Even though this is day 7 of some kind of sickness that I've inherited, I looked up at the building next to me. The tops of it had rain soaking like little icicles weaving down the sides of the brick. I looked towards the road, the sky, back to the store, just taking in what I saw, standing in the rain. Of course I didn't have my rain coat with me, but it didn't seem to matter. I think the little pelts of water remind me that I am human, that it is a gift that I often am moving too fast to stop and appreciate. Why don't I look around more often? Why don't I recognize the beauty that is? Or do I? Do I doubt myself? Does rain make me do this?

All I know is this day it reminded me of a beautiful rainstorm that we had at camp this summer, and how we ran from the pavilion to the dining hall with 100 or so kids screaming, a few lagging behind enjoying it, and the counselors and adults trying to make sure they were all safe. What a beautiful memory.

Rain also reminds me of baptism. As I sit here in the Heine Brothers coffee shop and write about those visible signs of invisible grace that we call Sacraments, I am reminded of the rain, and the water that was sprinkled on me as a baby. I think of the congregation that took a pledge on my behalf, and the two brilliant, amazing, beautiful people who did the same in front of their peers and Christ, no doubt with my sister standing by. Where would I be without that promise? Where would I be without water? I wouldn't be alive. Does that connect to my baptism? That a majority of my body is made up of water, that many people in the world do not have the ability to turn a switch and water flows. What's the connection there? I think there is one...I'll have to think about it a bit further, but I think the fact that Christ called me through baptism and Christ also calls me to help those who don't have the luxuries I do have something to do with each other. Hmm...

Recovery...and always recovering...

2007-12-01T06:54:00.000-08:00

So...recovery...some of you may be asking why in the world is this blog called recovery? Well, because sometimes I feel like the near future is going to be spent recovering from my year as a Young Adult Volunteer. If you go back a bunch of blogs that are somewhere between August 05-August 06 and see some of my updates.

I am lucky enough to go to a seminary where there are at least 8 current students who have served as Young Adult Volunteers in some capacity in the last five years. That's crazy/beautiful. Not a day goes by that I don't miss my fellow YAV's, roommates, best friends, sisters, youth, family, environment, church, pastors, Miami moms, that I met during my year. It's hard not to tell everyone I meet about the experience that helped shape my life thus far.

Reflecting on the year, still, is hard...but it helps that there are close friends in louisville that understand the thoughts, feelings, and yearnings that you do. These are people that you don't have to explain why you miss certain aspects of your year, or the importance of communal, faith-based living. Or how in a million years could you wish being able to continue living in that same situation for the rest of your life (insert hopefully others with you along the way...)?

I have too much crap. Living in Miami, Rach, Am and I shared a house, but it was more like we shared a room. It was a huge room if there were only one (American) living in it, but it was a big room with three twin beds in it. Sure, we got creative with the set-up, but we found ourselves not able to take much with us (YAV's usually get to take what they can fit on a plane-two checked baggages, including clothes and whatever else you wanted to put in there). Now I live in a studio apartment by myself, and I own a bed and a couch and two bar stools. The way that my transient self looks at this is that not in any way can I own any other small or large piece of furniture that I have to be able to take care of the next time I take off. Will someone hang onto these things while I'm gone? Will I be gone long enough to have them keep it? The honest truth is that I'm having a hard time even finding a coffee (or for the non-cafe folks, a couch) table because that just adds to the list of furniture that is tying me down. Ok...ramblings...done...for now...

by the way, today I spent four hours at bdubs with my friends watching Carolina beat UK, Davidson give dook a run for their money, the HOKIES beat Boston College, Louisville beat Miami of Ohio, and now am watching the Sooners take Mizzou down...it's been a good one...

Life, TSAD,and other randomness..

2007-11-27T21:59:00.000-08:00

So it's been seven months since I posted anything on here, and I suppose it's more for me than for other people anyway. But, nonetheless, I know my mom will read it. My dad's having surgery today in Charlottesville, VA, and it's a weird thing to know that all the stuff that he's had wrong with his heart has been dealt with since I moved out of Virginia. I can't be home for every doctor's appointment, every surgery, or he or my mom's daily struggles with joints, bones, etc. It sounds completely cliche and cheesy, but I dwell in the comfort that is faith. I know that Dad is in good hands this morning, and that my worry does nothing for him, mom, or Kirstine.

Thanksgiving seemed to be just the break that I needed from Louisville and the seminary. As much as I have found myself in love with this town, its people, it's quirks, nothing replaces home. Nothing replaces walking to grandmother's house and sitting at her table while we talk about whatever deems to be the subject of the day. Nothing will ever compare to my cousins outgrowing the kids table and sending the "adults" to the kids table (much to the chagrin of one particular uncle). Nothing will replace the faces of cousins, Miller or Wilson, who I've grown up being best friends with, and who have all grown into beautiful, intelligent, respectable individuals (maybe with the exclusion of myself-I tend to be a bit cheesebally). Ah. Just nothing compares...

So yesterday my good friend Karin and I were elected to be Theological Student Advisory Delegates to General Assembly 2008. For the non-presbyterian geek, this means that we are representatives from Louisville Seminary who get to go to San Jose for a bit over a week and represent our beautiful school from the floor of General Assembly. We will each be put on a committee where we can vote. We can't vote on the floor, but we can speak on the floor. Last night, while trying to write a paper at Heine Bros. Coffee shop, instead I looked up the overtures that are on the docket so far from Presbytery's...which I probably shouldn't have done, because some got me riled up, while others making me proud to be part of this church. Gosh I'm excited. And Stephanie just told me that when Adam Fischer was a TSAD two years ago his committee sent him to Israel beforehand to prepare for GA. Weee!

Cell phones and Alternative Spring Break

2007-03-10T12:44:00.000-08:00

So the other day I waltzed into Verizon to pay my cell phone bill. It was a beautiful day so I strolled down from Kroger. Paying my bill usually takes about 4 minutes, whether or not I have to stand in line. Well, I come in right behind a woman and her teenage daughter. The first thing that the lady says isn't Hello, how are you doing? to the Verizon worker, but begins explaining that her daughters phone is fuzzy when she makes phone calls. The entire time she practically ignores what the guy is trying to explain to her, and just gets really angry, and starts telling her daughter to make phone calls and prove that it's fuzzy, wanting to know what the Verizon guy can do about it...I guess I just don't understand people who aren't very nice to those who can help them out. The man was trying, to the best of his verizon-given ability, to help the woman out. But all she wanted to do was make sure that her 16 year old had a really cool phone that she could talk to her friends on without it being fuzzy. It brought to mind a lot of things I've seen in the last week or so, like "My Super Sweet Sixteen" on MTV, where the material world is worshipped by teens and therefore their parents. Why does a 16 year old have to have a $300 phone, and why do parents believe that, in order to defend their childs right to have "really cool stuff" they can be rude to salespeople? I dunno. It was just frustrating to me to sit there and listen to the woman who was not at all nice walk out the door and state how she was never going to be doing this again. Well ok. Maybe the guy will breathe a little easier now.

I leave in the morning to go on Alternative Spring Break with the college students sponsored by the Interfaith Center where I work. I'm so excited for this it's ridiculous. I've been a bit sick all week long, and then last night it got a little worse, but nothing is going to get in the way of this awesome week we are about to experience. There are 35 of us going, the largest group the IFC has ever taken, with five vans! Aaaah! It's going to be great. I can't wait to get to spend a week with these amazing students that I've met and deepen our relationships with each other and (hopefully!!!) Christ. Just another example of my cup overflowing. I feel like the luckiest gal to be able to do things like this. Charles Lindbergh has a quote that has stuck with me all day today as I've packed and planned: "It is the greatest shot of adrenaline to be doing what you've wanted to do so badly. You almost feel like you could fly without the plane."

Peace! Em:0)

Catholic Campus Ministry

2007-02-28T19:35:00.000-08:00

<--Interfaith Center folk during our overnight at UofL

I don't know if my committee on preparation for ministry realizes that I, this year in my field ed placement, am quasi Catholic. Ok, not really, but most of the work that I do at the Interfaith Center at the University of Louisville is hanging out and getting to know Catholic students. For those of you who do not realize it, Louisville was a place that Catholics could go (way back when) when they were being pushed out of the east coast. So needless to say there are numerous Catholic high schools that feed into a largely commuter University of Louisville. We joke about how I am almost Catholic and will be by the end of this year, and tonight at dinner I told them that I'd be around a ton of Presbys for the summer, so we're going to have to hit the Catholic ground running in August when I get back.

I love the students at U of L. Today I bought my first piece of Cardinal-wear, a hoodie (of course) w/ the University of Louisville on the front. I don't have a team that I am married to (except in college basketball-GO HEELS!), so, in solidarity with the students and the place I work, I am becoming a cardinal. Tonight was birthday dinner out with the Catholic Campus ministry, and I always leave those feeling great. Sarah, the campus minister, has become a great friend and confidante in the last few months, and I can't see me being in Louisville and not connected with her. I owe a lot to her this year, and probably through the end of next year, seeing that I have decided to continue on as an intern for the Presby Campus Ministry through next year.

Right now we're putting the finishing touches on our Alternative Spring Break trip to Slidell, LA. The only presbyterians that are going are the campus minister, Rick, and the intern, me:), but we connected with Presbyterian Disaster Assistance in Louisiana and are staying in a Presbyterian Church...kind of funny...but this is the most people the IFC has ever taken on a trip like this, and I can't be more excited. Enough for now. I still have an Israel paper to write...sheesh! peace, love, chicken grease.

And my best friend set a wedding date in August...I cannot wait to be a bridesmaid. :)

Mountains...

2007-02-20T19:00:00.000-08:00

I was on my way home from the grocery store today and stopped at the park and got on the swings. Sitting there (Louisville is the city of parks by the way), I was looking at the river and realizing that if someone could bring me mountains maybe I could breathe again. If I could just walk up a mountain and forget about the world. Bask in that mountain and God's freakin amazing glory, then maybe, just maybe, I could breathe. (I wrote that on my good friends facebook page earlier...the culmination of her love for the mountains, me missing them, and also missing her...and then it was her away message later.)

The picture is Kelsey and I at Humpback Rock in VA last summer, while we were on our day off from Massanetta...the enablers and some of the "adults" headed up for a hike. It was amazing...obviously...look at the picture! I love Virginia...in the words of Eddie from Ohio: "Sweet, sweet, Virginia always keeps an open door." I don't know when I'll get home next, other than for a meeting, but I know that it is going to be way past due, but at the same time incredible.

But really, when I was coming home and swinging on the swings, there were feelings that I couldn't really identify, yet at the same time I was so happy just looking at the water. Overwhelmed with life at the moment, yet at the same time overwhelmed in the enormity of the things that I saw.

On a lighter note, I study a lot at Heine Bros. which is a local coffe shop chain here in L'ville...yesterday Essie, Marie, the Bish, Mck, and I were sitting at their big table reading/talking/typing...and I got up to go feed the meter for Mabel, and fell flat on my face. Not even on my face, but my whole body just hit the floor. Holy heck. I was laughing so hard, and just could not imagine what in the heck had happened! But, alas, essie was laughing so hard she was crying, and I was ok, so it was fine. But still. Hmmm. Needless to say Marie went out and put money in the meter...hahahahahaha.

Freeeeezing

2007-02-09T18:57:00.000-08:00

<--The Dead Sea, not Miami!

When I found out that I was moving to miami in 2005, my friend said "Well that's good because you're always cold". Well he was right, except the fact that Miami is a bit TOO hot for me. I love it, but there's something about walking outside and instantly sweating that makes taking showers obsolete. But back to the case in point. I live in Kentucky, where at the current moment it is below freezing. Walking to the movie tonight in Lexington I was FREEZING! My coat, hat, and gloves were not quite enough. Those who know me, though, will at least be happy to know that I was not wearing flip flops! Slip ons with socks, yes, but not not flip flops!

Another thing is that I saw the new Judi Dench movie with my friend tonight, Notes of a Scandal? I hadn't even heard of it, and she's fantastic, for the record, but the movie is a tad odd. I love all sorts of movies, but a really nice comedy or chick flick would have done me well tonight. :) On yet another note, I was considering the different things to give up for lent, and came up with all sorts...like coke (sodas, pop, wherever you're from), and other things, etc. etc. But I'm really thinking that if I drop something for Lent I should also pick something up...say like a spiritual discipline. I've been reading this book on prayer by Richard Foster (thanks Am), and think that, KNOW that, is a part of my life that needs renovating.

Back to watching my second episode of LOST ever...it's no grey's anatomy, but Kyle's watching it, so whatev:)

Heine Bros!

2007-02-05T17:48:00.000-08:00

"United in justice the wall will not stand, and peace like a river will roll through this land." This is just one of the spots where I took a picture of graffiti on the seperation wall between Israel and Palestine. All of the graffiti on the walls got to me, but I think that this one says it well. Who is justice serving in this situation? Is there any? do the Israeli's have justice? Do the Palestinians? I should be writing my paper for class, about a topic that is striking me about our trip...but all I can do is look at my pictures over and over, especially of the wall, and think about what is going on, and the feeling that it gave me inside when I saw the paint on the wall.

I'm sitting at my favorite place to study, Heine Bros. coffee on the Douglass Loop in Louisville. I love this place! I haven't been here since finals week before Christmas, and how sad is that?! The workers were different and I didn't really know what to do with myself! But my good friend Sarah Bishop (the BISH if you will) decided that forget homework, I'm going to go surf the web with emily at the heine. Yay! I'm such a good person to get people away from work. Still today am I mourning the loss of my braves hat to the middle east. Somewhere, oh somewhere, my hat is floating around looking for me. You never know, maybe it will find it's way back. Boy would that be the greatest thing ever. In case it doesn't, crink will just have to find me another.

Today at lunch in the cafeteria we sang happy birthday to Derrick, a guy that works in the kitchen. It was one of those incredible moments where my chest got tight and my heart was full. Derrick knows all our names. We walk in the door and even from the back of the caf he says "hey emily!!!" They got cake and ice cream (ALL chocolate, because it's his favorite) for him, and we all shared in his day, after writing little notes and putting them into a book. How lucky are we? Derrick comes in every morning loving his job, because he loves people; he loves me, he loves Sarah, he loves Marie, he loves Scott. It is impossible to walk out of our cafeteria without a friend in Derrick. He is just another reason why I realize that God led me to LPTS.

Wow...this much later, eh?

2007-01-30T18:01:00.000-08:00

Ok, so the last time I posted one of these things on this particular blog was June...let's remember what I was doing in June...I believe there is a picture of me with a group from Warren Willis camp in Florida. Ahh camp. I miss camp...and June. I sit here at my desk, in a whole new place (compared to June), and look up at the pictures in front of me: my best friend's daughter, another's wedding party, Wendy's graduation picture, Howard and I when we were around 10 with our thumbs in the air, my pastor and I at my last high school softball game, and Mere and I at a party in college. If you look around my apartment there are pictures everywhere. From childhood, from high school, from college, and mostly family throughout. For some reason this is what I'm thinking about right now. I suppose it is because this morning I got off a plane here in Louisville, after a two week trip to the Holy Land, and my mind is everywhere. Maybe because through all these pictures and the pictures to come the constant will be God. Places have changed. I no longer get to see my family every day, or the youth group perform their various talents. But nonetheless, they are here, just like God is here and was there with me in Israel and Palestine. To some it is hard to believe, but yes.

I'm trying to stay awake so that I can get back onto eastern standard time, but nothing I need to do is getting done. So my friends invite me over, and I seem to just want to try to go to bed. Marie said it, and immediately I knew it was true: "you're a little depressed, and that's ok." And the more I think about it, the more I know that she is right. So what is it that I need to reflect on? The fact that I walked where Jesus himself walked? That I stood where he gave his sermon on the mount? That I stood in the waters of the Sea of Galilee, or floated in the Dead Sea? Mix all this in with needing to get Field Ed. papers turned in, meet with my f.e. supervisor, study for two days straight for a biblical content exam that I haven't had 3/4 of the classes for yet, and trying to get my feet back, steady on the ground. Shoo.

Shalom. Shalom. Shalom. Easier said than done, but not done without saying.

June Update!

2006-06-12T11:23:00.000-07:00

June 11, 2006

“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.”- 2 Corinthians 4:16

It’s nearly the middle of June. Do you know what that means? It means that this morning I left summer camp, waving at my youth group as they pulled out of the lot. It means that I am headed to a pre-General Assembly gathering in Birmingham, the Higher Education SUMMIT. It means that I have a church council report due on Monday. It means that in three weeks I’ll be back in VA for a bit, helping lead an “Out of Sight!” middle school conference. It means in two months I’ll be living in Kentucky. It means that my life is under renovation.

Renovate is the 2006 theme at the Warren Willis UM Summer Camp. All week we talked about different ways that we could renovate the journey of our lives-through prayer, service, community, etc. One of the things I love most about camp is that you leave with a definitive feeling of renovation and renewal. Christ is alive and you want to shout it out! You’ve just spent six days dancing and singing at the top of your lungs, canoeing, skating, and learning about our Savior. But what happens when you pull out of the parking lot? What happens when reality steps in and the everyday temptations are back, full-fledged into your life? What do you do?

This evening I was struck with this familiar feeling while sitting in a place I don’t frequently go: the mall. Looking around at the crowds and the consumerism, I wished I was back at camp. I needed to do something. But what do I do? Well, naturally, I called my mom, and while that helped, I still felt like something wasn’t quite right. Then it hit me like a 2X4 over the head. Duh, you need to pray. I needed alone time; I needed to be with God. I needed to sort out those feelings with the One who already knew them! It’s about taking the time for Him that He takes for you. If life were summer camp, we’d all have it easy (if we were campers, that is). It’s comfortable. There’s people there we know share similar beliefs that we do: Jesus is our common denominator. The startling news is that our faith isn’t meant to be easy. Praying, serving, and simply being a part of a community is not easy. After all, God promises a safe arrival, not an easy flight.

This afternoon I tried to debrief camp a bit and take a look at the renovations that need to occur in my own life. These aren’t just the obvious ones, like moving, or going back to school, but the spiritual ones. When something is happening in my life, it is not others that I should run to, but to my Maker, the One who knows my ins and outs. The One who loves me despite what it is I come to Him with. How hard is it to be slapped in the face with reality? Well, obviously, it’s ridiculously hard! Yet when we walk into the ‘real world’, God doesn’t stay at camp. He’s everywhere! We are reminded of this by the hug of the Spirit that we are wrapped in! A familiar hymn comes to mind which says: “He lives! He lives! Christ Jesus lives today! He walks with me, and talks with me, along life’s narrow way!” How true!

I need to remind myself daily of the renovation that Christ is working in me, and how I can’t simply sit back, relax, and wait for it to happen. The renovation starts NOW, it starts when you take the time to read the Bible, pray to God, and serve His kingdom. Take the time to recognize the renovation, live into the grace, and take on the world through your faith.

Check out the Miami Volunteers Pictures at: http://community.webshots.com/user/miamiyavs

Peace,

Emily

Top Ten Reasons I Love Miami (Humorous)

2006-05-15T08:39:00.000-07:00

Here I am again, writing to you lovely folks from different bits of the world, telling you a small part about my time in Miami, and trying to keep you updated. Here is a humorous top 10 of why I love the land of South Florida:

10. They actually have a good christian radio station. (How rare?)
9. I swam with a stingray, and walk next to alligators.
8. Although I don't go often, I still CAN go to the beach whenever I feel like it (if the car has gas!)
7. I can eat cuban food for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. No matter where in the city I am.
6. I have reclaimed my ability to play bells in church. I am a "Power Pealer".
5. There is absolutely no way you can use a crosswalk. You will die. Jaywalking is the answer.
4. Outside it's 23098234 degrees, and inside it's negative 10.
3. Lonnie Quinn, the News6 weather dude. And I emphasize "dude".
2. Every day is a flip-flop day.

yyyyyyyyyyyyyyy el numero uno....
1. When the Braves play in Miami, NOBODY goes. What's this mean? Jeff Francoeur calls me Sugar, and fans get one on one time chatting with players. Beautiful.

Ok so I hope that you all are doing fabulously! Please send me a note and keep me updated on you, so I'm not always telling people about me, but learning about others in return. I'll be starting Louisville P.T. Seminary in the fall, in the great Commonwealth of Kentucky. Oddly enough, for the first time in my life, I've gone from living in Florida to Kentucky, then who knows where? I'd like to study or live abroad during my summers between seminary so if anyone has any ideas, let me know!

peace,
emily:0)

How could I have been so blind to not see You? -Third Day

HOLY week

2006-04-13T19:09:00.000-07:00

It's been like a year and a half since my last post. Or so it seems. Life in Maimi has been crazy at the least. Which by no means that it has not been amazing. Sorry that it's been so long. I guess I haven't kept up quite as well with lots of things that I wish I was.

Today is Maundy Thursday. Which Pastor Brian did an awesome explanation of today, when I asked what "Maundy" meant. It's from the most romantic of languages, Latin of course, but for the life of me I can't remember what the Latin is. Ha:) Anyways, it stands for New Covenant, which what we celebrate on Maundy Thursday is the last supper and communion, and was the final night that Jesus spent with the disciples before being taken away. I was priviledged to be the worship leader tonight for the service, and we (Amber and I) brought our neighbors, Itzell (11) and Ayleen (8). While they don't really understand much of what is going on, they are sooooo excited to go. I got home around 5pm today and they came running out, and I had to get some laundry done, shower, and get back up to the church for the service. "When are you going to take us to church with you? Sunday?" So, I said, I'm leaving at 6:30, you can go tonight!

And hour and a half later they show up at our door, wondering if what they were wearing was ok, and Ayleen was showing off her mom's new flip flops that she was letting her wear. B-e-a-utiful. Both of them. Sunday for Easter I believe they're going to go to church with Amber and Rachel, to Homestead Mennonite.

Never have I loved serving a church more than I have this week. Pastor Brian closed the offices on Monday and Tuesday, so I headed up to Ft. Lauderdale to see the King Tut exhibit (which was fantastic, by the way...got to see artifacts taken straight from the tomb!). Tuesday I attended a Perrine/Cutler Ridge Council meeting to talk about Dare to Care, which is a service day that South Florida Urban Ministries is hosting this year at our church. This was pretty neat because I went in as point person at the church and came out learning so much more than I had already known, and being even more excited for the event.

Today was the best day of the week so far though, as I got to spend all day in the office working and just talking with pastor Brian. We talked about everything from what the group Jews for Jesus is all about to the heart of Gnosticism (fascinating), from the Passion and the awesome experience of watching it with the youth, to how Jesus does not talk as a teacher, He is authoritative. We set up the sanctuary, sang the Andy Griffith, Gilligans Island, and yes, the best one yet: Walker: Texas Ranger themes! It's funny how much I look forward simply to the interaction and discussion with people, and this is what I get so much out of.

As I said before, tonight we did foot washing at the service. It's been a long time since I really felt convicted, as though I really felt the presence of God, but more than anything tonight I knew that IT'S NOT ABOUT ME. Jesus didn't say "Do this in remembrance of yourself and how great you are. Jesus said "Do this in remembrance of ME". JESUS CHRIST. Not Emily Miller. Stooping down and washing Holly's feet zapped me into my place. It humbleld me, if you will. I started to cry, and just couldn't stop...I think most people thought it was because of dad and everything that is happening with him. Which, of course, that has gotten to me as well. But most of all it was the full comprehension of the power of God, and what it is that I am called to do. I just kept looking at the table that is engraved with "Do this in remembrance of ME." Amazing grace, how sweet the sound...

I happened to be listening to this song tonight and thought it was a good explanation of what I was feeling tonight, but didn't know how to say:

I need words as wide as sky
and I need a language large as this longing inside
and I need a voice bigger than mine
and I need a song to sing You that I've yet to find.
I need You. I need You. -David Crowder Band

ok...bed time...

this time next week I'll be at home, in my bed, in Hinton, VA...or spending time with the most important people on earth to me...my family. Ah. I cannot wait.

peace, love, and feeling at home in Christ...
-em:0)

kj-52...is that spicy?

2005-11-07T19:52:00.000-08:00

Ok. So to explain what the title of this blog is, we were hanging out with some of our new friends at Applebees that we had met at the Vacation Bible School randomly put together for kids left with nothing to do and no school to go to. J.R. was ordering wings, and Amber couldn't decide what she wanted, but she loves spicy food. Soooo after ordering his wings, J.R. asked if we liked KJ-52 (the band), and Amber said "Is that spicy?" and it was hilarious. I was like what was that? It was good times, no doubt.

Last night was CHAOS! (Christ Has Achieved Our Salvation) This is a gathering of local youth groups where they can worship, eat, play games, and fellowship. The younger band from the Lighthouse Ministries played, and I know that it was a really healthy time for my kids to worship God.

As disheartening as some things were, it was awesome. I love these kids. Saturday night was the Hoe Down and Talent show at church, and I felt a little unprepared because I didn't really know what happens at this tradition that the church has done for years upon years. Jackie said that you never know, maybe they'll ask me back next year and I can do it again, and dress up/prepare more! This scares me half to death, though, because I love these kids, and it would be hard to leave now, let alone in 10ish more months. But I just don't know about staying in Miami. I know that God will lead me wherever I need to be, but at the moment I struggle with not feeling called to the area yet being called to minister to these youth.

Prayer.

A storm's a brewin'!

2005-10-26T08:27:00.000-07:00

Ok, so the storm is done brewing, and is past. The beautiful thing? There is wind! There's never wind in Miami-Dade County. Or else it never finds my roomates and I. So, when the winds started blowing as the beginning's of Wilma we stood outside and just basked in it. There's no humidity (wowee!) and it actually feels like the middle of september in Virginia usually does. Chilly, but warm in the sun. I, however, did not dress properly for work today. I say this because there is a strong need for pants! And I have shorts on. Why?

It's weird to think that I have gone through my first hurricane. Everyone around us is so worried that something will happen if the three of us stay by ourselves at our house. The funny thing was that we are not scared at all! We are wondering why people keep wanting us to leave. So it'll be a category 3? At least it's not a 4 or 5, huh? Wilma hit on my birthday! I'm 22! It was interesting to wake up to such strong winds battling around (at the Goertz's b/c they called at 2 am very uneasy that we were at the house-so they came and got us-we just wanted to go to sleep! it was 2am!?!!?) But when I woke up, the three of us were in the same room at the house (like we are at our own!) and ambe started singing happy birthday to me. My roomates rock. Hurricane or no, we had a great day! After we went back and inspected our roof (that lost a lot of shingles-but everyone's did), we went to a lady from the Mennonite church's house and cleaned up her backyard. There were two trees down that needed to be cleared. It was good times. This gives us a chance to reach out, meet neighbors, etc. etc. Because we don't have power (i'm at the church), all the kids in the neighborhood are outside playing! I met so many new neighbors yesterday!

Thank you to everyone who sent birthday mail/email. It was grand. I love you all and I hope you're all doing well. Miami is doing good. The church's damage is minimal, but people vandalized and stole the pumpkins. The pastor's wife confronted someone and told them that the pumpkins were a fundraiser, we were selling them, they weren't free....and the woman just shrugged and walked away, stealing the pumpkin anyways. That happened twice. Sad.

peace -^~

dog tired...

2005-10-10T14:05:00.000-07:00

Today wasn't very long at all, but it was really good. After sitting in the sun with the Puppet Team at church selling pumpkins, the cool air in Steve's pizza sounded pretty darn good. So therefore I got to eat lunch with three of the senior high youth at a local pizza place, and get to know them a little better, which was good for all of us I think. It was a great day, besides the fact that I got fiveish hours of sleep last night and could really use a nap.

Nap...ORRRRR run with Amber? I'll probably pick run, but man I want that nap...

Lorena Carr, Brian's wife, brought me home from work to do. I have a lot to do with getting things in line for youth group on wednesday, so it was nice to get a ride and not have to get on the bus. Plus it's fun when you're in a car with a 7 year old, an 11 year old, and a near-1 year old, who are all charming in their own ways.

As you may have been able to tell, we finally got internet here at the house. The great thing about not having it for so long is that we're not used to it, so we don't spend a lot of time wasting away on it. I'm glad about that at least.

I miss home today. Good ole Rockingham Co...I'd love to see my parents or sister right about now...

2005-10-06T10:09:00.000-07:00

weee!

2005-10-05T12:52:00.000-07:00

Place: Homestead, Florida
Date: October 3, 2005
Time: 11:32 pm

As I sit here at the dining room table, in a quaint little house in Florida, writing my first monthly update, I wonder what was going through my mind this time last year. Do I remember? Not really. I could tell you the classes that I was taking, or how much I loved my internship, or wrestling with the thought of not playing organized softball again at school. One thing that I was not thinking about was how in one year I’d be living in a house with two other girls that I had never met, working as a youth director at a United Methodist Church, and especially not thinking about living in the state of Florida.
After a month living in the outskirts of Miami, one thing runs through my mind daily: expect the unexpected, God works in crazy ways! It is like the song says, “If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him your plans”. There have been plenty of days where I want to set up my own plan for my life, yet God steps in and says, “No, no, that’s not it”, and wouldn’t you know, He’s right!
In a short month that has flown by, I have been introduced to countless people, dropped into an instant community where everyone was waiting with open arms, drenched with gross Miami street water, laughed, talked, and listened a lot, and realized what it means to be a minority. I have stared at the tallest point in Miami-Dade county (the trash dump-Mt. Trashmore), and hiked upon the Rocky Mountains of Colorado with some of my new friends and fellow Young Adult Volunteers.
My roommates and I live in Homestead, Florida, in a Latino farm workers community called the Redlands Community Center. Surrounded by 150 Latino families is amazing. Not only will I get the chance to learn the Spanish language, but also I will be introduced to a culture that I yearn to understand.
I am serving this year at Perrine-Peters United Methodist as the youth director. The first Sunday at church, a man shook my hand, explaining to me how I was their answered prayer, as they had been in need of a youth director for so long. Think about this: being an answered prayer. How amazing is that? At first I just smiled and was appreciative, then I kept thinking about the things that he had said, and became overpowered with the fact that something greater than myself is at work. My first Wednesday night with the youth was great; I had met a few of them at church the Sunday before, and had really liked everyone I met. Overwhelmed may be a good word for that first night, seeing that there are nearly forty 6th-12th graders involved in the Methodist Youth Fellowship.
The Miami Young Adult Volunteer (YAV) site is partnered with D.O.O.R.: Discovering Opportunities for Outreach and Reflection, an organization that grew out of the Mennonite Church. There are 13 YAV’s in Miami this year, all doing something totally different, from working in Little Haiti at a clinic, to youth work, to Habitat for Humanity, to after school art programs. So far we are all just trying to find our niche in this big city, be it that most of us are from small towns.
The more time I spend at the church I realize how much I enjoy the daily routine of running into the kids from The Caring Place, (the day care that is run out of the church), spending time with Jackie, who works here at the church, or hanging out with Pastor Brian and talking about the church as a whole, theology, or his beautiful family. It’s funny how in so little time I have come to really feel at home with the youth, from playing football with them on Wednesdays or sitting with them on Sunday morning.
Over and over the YAV’s from last year tell us how important it is to let God work through us this year, and not to make plans for next year quite yet. They tell us not to be closed off to the opportunities that He may make for us this year. The three of us in Homestead (Rachel, Amber, and I) are scared to death of this, but joke about it a lot, saying that we need to find out how rent runs down here in case we end up living together next year. Sitting here in my Louisville seminary shirt, though, I like the plan that I have been called to thus far. My hope though, is that my heart is open to the great things that will happen either way.
Once our house gets internet up and running (cross your fingers!), you can check out my updates online at http://leftemail13.blogspot.com/. Also, the 13 of us are posting pictures on webshots, so check it out! http://community.webshots.com/user/miamiyavs.

Every entry will not be near this long: welcome to my monthly update for PC(usa). God is good.

Getting Ready

2005-08-12T07:04:00.000-07:00

Today I realized that I like this blogging thingy more than I like the bebo one (sorry Crystal;)). I didn't want all that stuff to be up there while I was also hoping that family, friends, church family, etc. would read it, and I simply wanted it to be a running journal of my life in Miami.

I have started to pack, but I also started to pack when I was still going to Hollywood, too. Speaking of, I haven't found out yet if I get a refund for that ticket. I hate costing the church money...If I find that out today I'll finally get my ticket for Miami.

I have received a lot of emails from those Young Adult Volunteers heading overseas. For sure I will miss them, as I met all of them in April at the placement event, but I know that in the US or out of the US we are all going to do something wonderful for a whole year, hopefully laying the concrete for something further in our lives. I cant' wait to read their updates on the pcusa website, and I know that we're going to be accountability partners.

Tomorrow is the Cleaver golf tournament, where a bunch of family friends (and I mean a TON of people) get together, play golf, have fun, and veg the night away at the Cleaver's. They even get a band. Carrie Bell is coming up for it, which I'm stoked for because more than anyone from Massanetta I talk to Carrie, and she's fantastic. We're going to John Weicher's ordination on Sunday and I also could not be more excited...unless I got to see the Braves play on Tuesday...WAIT A SECOND! I DO!!! Geezy Peezy this next week is going to rock my socks right off.

Anddddd I'll leave it at that. I'm hoping to talk to the site coordinator for Miami today and find out where I'm going to be placed and thus where I shall live! Fantastico!