I get by with a little help from my friends...

..I wouldn't survive Louisville/Seminary/etc. without these (and a few that're missing) people in my life..I mean look at those faces? Who wouldn't want to spend all their down time with them?

Being a Catholiterianite..y mas..

Catholic+Presbyterian+Mennonite=Catholiterianite

This is the term that I have come up with to describe my ecu-denominational status. I was born into the Presbyterian Church (becoming uber-Presby in college at a Church of the Brethren school), grew up (and will always call home) where my neighbors are Old Order Mennonites (and I wanted to be one so badly, especially when riding around in buggies with my babysitters), and now work in a Catholic city with many Catholic students and friends.

I suppose I should fit Brethren in there somewhere, seeing that I'm pretty sure my upbringing and college years (Yay Jordan!) moved me into Pacifism. Recently I had a wonderful conversation with Amgad, a man who works at the Presby Center in downtown Louisville, who is a Presby pacifist. We, and others, agreed that there are more Presbyterian pacifists than there used to be, and probably more than we can know. I don't agree with war, the definitive use of guns that we have overutilized, fighting to win over governments, people, lands, or the forced take over of places because they are not running as we in the west think they should. And what is just war? I mean, I know the definition itself, but really? How do we think about war within our Christian faith? Do people even understand the role that Jesus had? Sure he was born (yay Christmas!), sure he died on a cross for all of us (yay?), and sure he arose, yet again, for all of us (yay Easter!), but what about in between? Do we remember what happened in between?

Today the pastor at Harvey Browne Presbyterian Church here in L'ville preached on the passage in John where Jesus our Christ asks for a drink from a Samaritan woman whom he runs into at the well. WHAT?! A samaritan giving a drink to a Jewish man? Holy crap, this made history! (No, really it did..) Well, backstory is that I tried to go to another church this morning that someone recommended, and, not being able to find it, was headed to another church when I decided to go to H.B. Obviously I was supposed to be there today, as the pastor's message was fantastic, hitting the nail on the head for the things I am passionate for: who are our enemies? Why "them"? And when it comes down to it, they're welcome at the table in the same fashion that we are. My skin is not the same color that Jesus' was. I mean, crazy to think about, I know, but Jesus wasn't white. Nor was he from America. But he still welcomes me at the table. No matter if you look like me, we are told that all are welcome. ALL. Beautiful. Beautiful..these things are scandalous in some churches, which makes me sad.

The KCSC Retreat was this weekend and I attended with a bunch of UofL Catholic students and a lot of others from across Kentucky. The Kentucky Catholic Student Coalition is fantastic, and I admire them in so many ways. Being student run, led, planned, etc., they manage to get 60 students from at least six schools in KY together that are so excited about their faith. It's so student oriented that Campus Ministers are only there in case there are questions or help is needed in a particular situation. Needless to say Sarah, Marie, and I ended up going to Wal-Mart a minimum of four times to get food and medicine for the students. I don't shop at Wal-Mart, but where we were that was all that was available to us (imagine that, here in the good ole US of A). Anyways, I think it's incredible that they have taken this retreat and run with it, and pull it off in a way that makes students come back to this retreat 10 or 12 times. Dedication.

Running the risk of this being way longer than it should because people probably check out, I love Grace. I am overwhelmed continually at the grace that I am offered. I love hymns, and Come Thou Fount is one of my faves. If you know me you know that I connect my life through music often, and often have amazing God moments through song, and am in love with the words to this particular hymn:

O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I'm constrained to be..

The debt that I have can never be repaid. God probably laughs at me trying. So I will continue to observe and participate in a life where I am called by grace to love. This love does in fact include myself, but more than that it includes every single other person that I encounter in my life, whether they look like myself or not.

St. Meinrad!

This post goes out to my new friends, Brother Silas and Father Anthony...

Naturally the hippest monks I've ever met, conversed, and cooked with...

And since I told Brother Silas I would make a post that pretty much just said hello to him, this is the beginning and the end of it, except to say that I can't believe the smooth exit that you made while I was making my announcement tonight. Wow. Nice work, friend.

Earth's crammed with heaven, and every common bush afire with God; but only he who sees, takes off his shoes. The rest sit round it and pluck blackberries. -Elizabeth Barrett Browning

www.gasperriverretreatcenter.org ..can't wait to return..

We all know what Dane Cook calls it...

It's a snow day. Or an ice day. Therefore my ridiculous day that was going to go from 9 am to 9 pm continuously didn't happen. But my ponderings as of late (that have, obviously) not been blogged, are about l o v e. My closest friends and I talk about this all the time..well, at least when we're frustrated, happy, sad, curious, or wondering what kind of advice we need to seek.

Why is it that there are people in your life that know you from the inside out, who could predict your next move sooner than you could, that relate to you in conversation, personality, etc. but it's just not there? What is "it", and why isn't it there? Why does it seem like that person should be the one (if you so choose to believe there is only 'one' - or if you would like to say, the 'one right now'), but since there is obviously that attraction missing, you just can't, and won't (in my case) allow yourself to go there?

Some would ask what happens when two peoples' dreams don't collide. Well, who says they have to collide? I have friends who are going into ministry and their spouses are doing something completely different (different minus the priesthood of all believers thing...). The Avett Brothers have a song which says: "And if your love laughs at your dreams, well it's not as bad as it seems, either way one of them has got to go." But I completely disagree. This is one of my favorite songs at the moment, but I disagree wholeheartidly with this statement. Why does either one have to go? I contend that neither does.

Sure I would like to be with someone who is spontaneous, loves Christ, dancing in the rain, swings, laughing and talking until 4 a.m., service, camp, etc. But the fact of the matter is I may find someone who loves all those things, and "it" is still not present. But what if "it" is? Whew.

We've all done stupid things. I'll admit it. And pining after bad choices is also something that we do. Why do we pine over people who may or may not be good for us? Who may even be ridiculously bad decisions? Because we do. Is it because we're afraid this is it? That there may not be anything else waiting for me on my path? Well, what about timing. What if you've met that person, are friends with them already, and it is obvious that right now isn't the right time? What does that even mean! Do we have to make it the right time by taking some sort of action? Or do we just sit back and hope the universe comes through? This boggles my mind..in more ways than one..

Prayer and pizza theology...life. is. good.

Tonight I had a chance to hang out with some of the coolest Catholic's I have ever known, while attending the CCM at UofL's pizza theology. This lovely thing that happens once a month brings in Father Lou to talk about stuff Catholic's believe and about their faith, over pizza (obviously, you say? Yes.) Well tonight Brother Silas, a monk from a nearby monastery (St. Meinrad in Indiana) joined us for a discussion about prayer. When no students would answer his questions (they're quiet, and they're used to Father Lou talking most of the time!) he looked at me, knowing where I am in school, etc, and said, What about you? What do you think? My response? "Can you repeat the question?" The question is about a relationship with God, why it is important in the first place. Well, I said, I realized somewhere along the line that I don't know who I am apart from God. I grew up in the church, the same church I was born into, as was my dad and granddaddy. Needless to say I've been nurtured. But that didn't mean anything until it hit me that I can't know myself without my attempt at knowing God. But what does that mean? What do I do with that?

There's a quote on a note card in my bathroom that I shared with the group: You pray in your distress and in your need; would that you might also pray in the fullness of your joy and in your abundance. (Kahlil Gilbran). Well, we talked so much about how we pray when we need something and when we are sad and feel alone. But what about those times where we are forced into realization of the beauty we are given in everything because and by God? I put the quote in my bathroom because that obviously is somewhere I see every day. No matter how I spin it, I am wealthy. I may leave seminary with loans equaling a small car, but that still makes me rich. I have food on my table every day, I probably have enough money in books to feed a small town, I own a t.v. (which in itself is gigantic), I own a car (WHAT?!), a couch, and a bed. I have a bed to sleep in. I HAVE A BED TO SLEEP IN. Have you ever stopped to think about that? There are people concerned for my safety. Thank God..thank God.

But what do I do about those who don't? I know this started out as a discussion about prayer...but is my walking prayer for those less fortunate that I enough? Is it enough for me to be knowledgeable about the world, or is it crappy that I'm sitting here, on the laptop that I bought and own (what?!), just talking? Is it just talk? Or is the matter of awareness enough?

My friend marie knows that one of these days I am going to visit a place, do work/service/aide/help in some way, and not leave. I thought about this a lot lately, because she points it out every once in a while. Talking to Crystal the other day made me realize that is probably going to be a part of my call in the near future, in some form or another. There have been a few places where I have felt strongly about staying, not moving an inch, just BEING and serving in that place and time. But once I'm done with school, I can do that right? Right?!

I'm tired, exhausted, done. Today has been fantastic. I got to be at a place where I work that I adore, with people that I adore, respect, and can't see my life without. I got to drive my car around the coolest town on my way there, and sit in a coffee shop with a good friend and talk about life. Life is good. To quote John Mayer "I know the heart of life is good." I have hope. I have lots of it.

Some may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one..

Church Nerd Hobbies/Globalization

Maybe this should be entitled "Church Nerd Hobbies". I don't know when I became a nerd about church, but I love church. I was the typical kid who thought they had won the lottery on days when we couldn't stay for church, just sunday school, or, which seldom happened: we didn't go at all. Those were big days, because I might just get to sleep more (doubtful). What changed? What flipped the switch for me to see the beauty in the service? A lot of it had to do with, I'm sure, my senior year of high school getting a new, permanent pastor who truly cared for me, my softball games, how I was doing in school, life, etc. But I think most of it had to do with Massanetta Springs Middle School Conference. Wow. I could write a book about that. The long and short of it is that I realized, as a high school counselor (Enabler, but that always confuses people), that worshiping Christ could and should be fun, and that showing others that was something that I loved to do.

So...fast forward to me now, at 24, and am the girl who looks at church websites for fun. Marie makes fun of me, but if I find out someone is from a certain church or is from a certain area but grew up in a church, I'll google it. Why? It's interesting! Some churches have websites, some don't. Some have good websites, some don't (at all). You can tell a lot by a churches website. The language they use, what they deem to be so important that it's on the front page, what's not important and takes you forever to find, etc. I like church, I like churches, I like knowing the things that churches are doing, whether they focus on preaching, worship, outreach, mission; whether they're inward focused on their members or outward focused on the world that we are called to serve.
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On another note, class started today for the Spring semester...Thursdays are obviously going to be ridiculous and full, but at the same time my favorite class will most likely be on this day. I've got a lot of globalization going on, with taking "Sacraments and Globalization" and "God and Globalization". My night class, the latter, is going to be incredible. The professors are great, knowledgeable, and willing to learn right along with us as this is the first class of its kind offered here. I can't wait to talk more about globalization and what effect the church has had on it and what effect it has had on the church. Realizing, too, that we are part of the globe, part of the solution, and part of the problem. We buy, sell, trade, anything that we can get our hands on yet don't always stop to think about the implications of where it came from, where it's going, and where it's been. Who has it affected? Was it in a bad, harmful way? Were there serious consequences to this making it to my hands? I'm stoked to talk about these things. It's funny, because I'm not even upset that it's a Thursday class that meets for three hours at night...Let the games begin...